Introduction

Depression is a word that conjures up different things for different people. It is also often used in a throwaway sense – it’s easy to mark someone (or yourself) as being depressed.

However, research increasingly suggests that depression should be considered an illness; one that needs to be properly diagnosed and treated, rather than simply labelled and swept under the carpet.

This article has been written to help identify exactly what we mean by depression, and how this debilitating illness can be combatted.

A quick overview of depression

Depression can be thought of as a low mood or sadness that lasts for an extended period of time – weeks, months or years. It can be broadly thought of as feeling severely unhappy, or perhaps no longer enjoying the things in life you may have previously enjoyed.

Depression can be accompanied by a reduction in self-esteem and confidence. That feeling that you are no longer good enough for...your partner, your work, your family...or just not achieving the personal goals or expectations that you set yourself.

Depression shouldn’t be confused with anxiety, psychosis or schizophrenia. It is its own thing, with its own symptoms and solutions.

Depression doesn’t need an event to have taken place to occur. It can be completely, or seemingly, random. In fact, some people are simply more likely to become depressed than others because of their circumstances or personality. However, a number of events will contribute towards depression, such as a change in circumstances, death of a loved one, job loss or worries at work or medical illness.

Also, depression is invisible...it isn’t like a physical ailment that can be spotted. This means that it can often be late in diagnosis.

What are the symptoms of depression?

Depression will manifest differently in different people. There are however a number of symptoms that we can safely associate with depression. These would include:

• Overwhelming lack of purpose in life...the ‘what’s the point’ belief
• Negative outlook on life
• Increasingly sedentary behaviour; a lack of mental and/or physical energy
• Increasing isolation, and becoming distant from friends and relatives
• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
• Poor or interrupted sleep, or even insomnia
• Increasing reliance on alcohol or drugs

The cruelty of depression means that often the depression itself will impact on if and how someone wants to get better. A metaphor could be a car that needs to get to a garage for an engine repair, but is unable to because the engine is preventing it moving.

If you are suffering from depression, it may be that you feel you do not want to get better, almost as if you are self-sabotaging. You might have an internal dialogue that becomes increasingly negative, like the balance between positive and negative is shifting, for the worse.

About ‘Low Mood’

Wingmen care about the mental health of men. We are an inclusive charity, not solely for anyone suffering with clinical depression. We do not believe that you need to be depressed in order to ‘not feel right’. This includes low mood, sadness...just feeling generally down!

So, if you don’t consider yourself to be depressed, you can still call Wingmen. If, for example, you are simply having a bad day...the low mood hasn’t extended over a long period of time.

Identifying that there may be an issue is a powerful first step, and can often avoid an escalation in the issues. That’s why we’re here!

How do I help someone who is suffering from depression?

Ultimately, if someone is feeling down, then the need to change must come from them. However, this can be helped by providing a connection.

If you know someone who is suffering from depression, there are a number of things you can do. The first and most important is simply to let them know that you are there for when needed, and that you care about them. A popular phrase these days is ‘checking in’. We like this phrase at Wingmen...it doesn’t feel formal or intimidating...more just a simple ‘how you doing?’.

It may be that you don’t feel like the right person to be providing a connection. Not to worry...who else could be the right person? It might be a different friend, colleague or family member. It might be someone that the person doesn’t even know! Consider, of course, the support available from the NHS. GPs are increasingly adept at dealing with mental illness in a sympathetic and effective way.

A GP will most likely guide a person towards therapy or a medicinal solution...or both.

There are a number of types of therapy; a GP is best positioned to make an initial suggestion about what could be best, then a professional can take it from there.

A personal opinion here: Therapy can be great! Think of it as an MOT for your brain. Therapy is helpful, interesting, safe and backed up with years of evidence that it works. But, I accept that it isn’t for everyone, and can be extremely daunting at first. It’s natural to feel daunted...it’s a change that may make you feel weak or vulnerable.

What have we learned?

Connection is key. Whether that is anonymous or through a friend, colleague or family member.

Everyone feels differently. There’s no single cause...or symptom...of depression.

It’s never too early...or too late. The earlier an issue is identified, the better. But, any time is a good time to connect and share what is on your mind.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Humans are flawed...we get things wrong all the time. It’s part of what makes us special.

About Wingmen

Wingmen is an anonymous listening service for any man to use. We will never judge. We are here because we believe in the power of connection.

Wingmen also work with other mental health organisations. So, if it is right for you, we can help put you in touch with others that may be able to help.