Please note that what follows is subjective advice, and is to be taken as a simple guide if you are concerned about someone you know. We have arranged this article as a Q&A in order to make it easy for you to find the right information for your circumstance.

How to help if I think it’s an emergency?

If you think that someone is in danger or harming themselves right now, or may have harmed themselves, then the right course of action is to treat this as you would any emergency and call the emergency services on 999, asking for an ambulance.

I know this is hard to think about, but if you find yourself in the situation where you are talking to someone who is suicidal, there are a number of things you can do to help.

Firstly, make that connection. They are probably feeling lost, rejected and alone. So, reach out in any way you can. Let them understand in their own time that they aren’t alone, that you are there with them.

Secondly, bring them back to the present. Ask simple, everyday factual questions (rather than emotional ones). If they want to speak, let them speak.

I have a friend who is having suicidal thoughts; what should I do?

If someone you know is in immediate danger of harming themselves, then follow the previous advice and call 999.

If they are expressing thoughts about suicide but are not in immediate danger, they might be “exploring” the idea. The best thing you can do is simply know that you are there, and that you care. Listening is vital. Try not to impose your own ideas or solutions — unless you have specialist training — and instead listen with empathy.

Wingmen of course are here to listen too. If you think that speaking to one of our trained volunteers would be helpful, then keep our phone number close by. If we cannot help, we can guide them towards someone who can. By putting your friend in touch with Wingmen, you are doing your bit!

How to help if I think someone I know is not ok?

Again, if someone you know is in immediate danger, call 999. If the issue is less immediate, make a connection. As humans we are hard-wired to connect — show that you care by checking in. Be cautiously persistent if required.

Consider how they prefer to be contacted: a visit, a phone call, a text, or even a card in the post. Signs they may not be ok include:

• Changes in temperament or personality
• Being more distant than usual (not returning calls)
• Social withdrawal
• Staying indoors more than usual
• Over reliance on alcohol or drugs

They may voice feelings like being trapped, demotivated or lacking purpose. Also watch for triggers such as bereavement, relationship breakdown, financial problems, stress, significant birthdays, or world events that have impacted them.

Wingmen volunteers can take some of the weight off your shoulders—make sure you have our phone number to hand and can pass it on in the most appropriate way for the situation.

How to help by being a good listener

Wingmen is a listening service. We aren’t here to offer advice, but are able to signpost to other services. Tips for being a good listener:

• Be present. Stop other activities so you can focus on what’s being said.
• Be aware of what is not being said—look for hidden cues.
• If physically present, keep appropriate eye contact and open body language.
• Pauses are fine—allow time for thought.
• Try not to impose your own interpretations; let the person explore what they want to talk about.

Wingmen is dedicated to providing a listening post to anyone.
You can read more of our resources on the resources page: Wingmen Resources